You Are Who You've Been Looking For

by Adam Roa

You are, who you have been looking for 
So, stop looking for more 
unless you look in the mirror,
because it is about time 
you see clearly 
you are, who you have been looking for.

And that empty feeling you got 
That howl in your chest,
you only got that feeling,
because you think
you are not blessed with everything you need.

You see, 
we live in a consumer pressed society,
that wants you to buy stuff. 
And the easiest way to sell,
is to tell you “you are not enough”.
“Buy this car, you will get girls”
“Buy this bra you will get guys” 
And we are seeing it so much,
that we start believing these lies.

But the truth is,
the makeup they are selling
to make you feel prettier 
is the same makeup 
you buy to stop making you feel shittier 
about this lie they keep telling you. 
That you are not enough.

And what about the movies we watch, 
all the shows on TV… 
The more I watch 
the more I see 
I need you to complete me.

And yes,
love is the answer, 
love is the key 
but if you can’t love yourself 
how could you ever love me?

And loving yourself, 
what does that even mean?
Like massages and selfies and that sort of things?

The more I think about it,
The more it feels weird, 
I have always been taught, 
that selflove was something to be feared. 
I have been taught, 
that arrogance is bad 
and that vanity it’s not good 
and even my bracelets are telling me 
how to act like Jesus would.
 
What should I do?
How should I act?
I am supposed to love myself 
but how do I even do that?

Well I got a trick that I picked up from a friend, 
who would notice that I was quick to defend her, 
when she would say something negative about herself. 
She would say “I am so dumb” 
and I would say “you are so brilliant”.
She would say “I am so weak”
and I would say “you are so resilient”. 
And when she said “I feel ugly” 
and I would say “you look beautiful”,
She asked me
why I was so dutifully filling up her cup constantly
and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly 

Because when I looked in the mirror
my voice was quite clear:
“You are ugly,
you are too thin,
your hair lines are seeding,
you have a pimple on your chin.” 

And that was,
when she gave me a piece of advice,
that changed my life. 
She gave me a hug and she said: 
“Treat yourself like someone you loved”

Treat yourself like someone you loved 
Now, I had been standing
but I needed to be sitting,
because I couldn’t believe 
that I had been letting myself 
keep forgetting that 
I was, who I have been looking for 

And deep in my chore 
I knew it was time to stop looking for more, 
until I could look through all my fear 
and into a mirror 
and see clearly, 
that the man looking back at me, 
was the only one, who can make me happy 

And I am already enough 
And I am not anymore special or unique than you 
That is why I am here 
to speak to you.
 
You are already enough
And when you start to see that,
you will start to be that.
your world will get brighter, 
Your load will get lighter,
And you can see 
that with life 
you can be a lover, 
not a fighter 
and that life, 
you deserve it.
Because you are worth it 

And there is no point 
in letting yourself keep forgetting, 
because no matter 
what you say 
or do 
you are perfect.

And so today,
I hope 
I leave you with a direction, 
correction, 
away from the flaws 
you see in your reflection, 
they aren’t flaws to me, 
they are simply protection 
against all the doubts 
you have of your perfection. 

So, start today,
Take a good, 
long look in the mirror 
and say:
“I am, who I have been looking for”

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